Donnie Darko!

Donnie Darko is the best film ever! It fxcking rocks! Jake Gyllenhaal is fit and its pretty funny!

Donnie Darko quotes:

Sean: Bear and pussy. Thats all I need.
Ron: We gotta find ourselves a Smurfette.
Sean: Smurfette?
Ron: Yeah, not some tight-ass Middlesex chick, right? Like this cute little blonde that will get down and dirty with they guys. Like Smurfette does.
Donnie: Smurfette doesn't fxck.
Ron: Thats bullshit. Smurfette fxcks all the other Smurfs. Why do you think Papa Smurf made her? Because all the other Smurfs were getting too horny.
Sean: No, no. no. Not Vanity. I heard he was a homosexual.
Ron: Okay then, you know what? She fxcks them and Vanitey watches. Okay?
Sean: What about Papa Smurf? I mean, he must get in on all the action.
Ron: Yeah, what he does, he films the gang-bang, and he beats off to the tape.
Donnie: First of all, Papa Smurf didn't create Smurfette. Gargamel did. She was sent in as Gargamels evil spy with the intention of destroying the Smurf village, but the overwhelming goodness of the Smurf way of life transformed her. And as for the whole gang-bang scenario, it just couldn't happen. Smurfs are asexual. They don't even have reproductive organs under those little white pants. Thats whats so illogical, you know, about being a Smurf. Whats the point of living if you don't have a dick?
Sean: Dammit Donnie. Why you gotta get all smart on us?

Donnie: How can you do that?
Frank [6ft rabbit]: I can do anything I want. And so can you.

Donnie: Do you want your sister to lose weight? Tell her to get off the couch, stop eating twinkies and maybe go out for field hockey. You know what? No one ever knows what they want to be when they grow up. You know it takes a little, little while to find that out, right Jim? And you... yeah you. Sick of some jerk shoving your head down the toilet? Well, you know what? Maybe... you should lift some weights, or uh, take a karate lesson and the next time he tried to do it, you kick him in the balls!

Donnie: I made a new friend today.
Therapist: Real or imaginary?
Donnie: Imaginary.

Frank: 28 days... 6 hours... 42 minutes... 12 seconds. That... is when the world... will end.

Gretchen: You're weird.
Donnie: Sorry.
Gretchen: No, that was a compliment.

Karen: This could be the death of an entire way of life, the end of an era...
Donnie: Why should we care?
Karen: Because the rabbits are us Donnie.
Donnie: Why should I mourn for a rabbit like he was human?
Karen: Are you saying that the death of one species is less tragic than another?
Donnie: Of course. The rabbits not like us. It has no... keen look at something in the mirror, it has no history books, no photographs, no know;edge of sorrow or regret... I mean, I'm sorry Miss Pommeroy, don't get me wrong y'know, I like rabbits and all. They're cute and they're horny. And if you're cute and you're horny then you're probably happy, in that you don't know who you are and why you're even alive. And you just wanna have sex as many times as possible before you die... I mean, I just don't see the point in crying over a dead rabbit! Y'know, who... who never feared death to begin with.

Donnie: Why do you wear that stupid rabbit suit?
Frank: Why do you wear that stupid man suit?

Gretchen: Donnie Darko? What the hell kind of name is that? Its like some sort of superhero or something.
Donnie: What makes you think im not?

Kitty: I'll tell you what he said! He asked me to forcibly insert the Life Line exercise card into my anus!

Sean: Good shit, eh?
Donnie: Dude, its a fxcking cigarette!

Therapist: Has he ever told you about his friend Frank?
Rose: Frank?
Therapist: Yes, the giant bunny rabbit...
Edward: What?
Rose: ...I don't recall him ever having mentioned a rabbit...

Donnie: How does it feel having a wacko for a son?
Rose: It feels wonderful.

Donnie: You are such a fxckass.
Elizabeth: Did you just call me a fxckass? You can go sxck a fxck!
Donnie: Oh please tell me Elizabeth, how exactly does one sxck a fxck?

Donnie: Frank whens this gonna stop?
Frank: You should already know that.

Donnie: You're right, actually. I am pretty... I'm, pretty troubled and I'm, I'm pretty confused. But I... and I'm afraid. Really, really afraid. But I... I... I think you're the fxcking Antichrist!

Gretchen: My mom had to get a restraining order against my step dad. He has emotional problems.
Donnie: Oh, I have those too. What kind does your step dad have?
Gretchen: He stabbed my mum four times in the chest.
Donnie: Oh.

[Donnie tries to kiss Gretchen and she pulls away.]
Donnie: Well I, I, sorry I...
Gretchen: Donnie wait...
Donnie: I like you alot...
Gretchen: I just want it to be... at a time when... it...
Donnie: When what?
Gretchen: When it just reminds me just...
Donnie: When it reminds you of how beautiful the world can be?
Gretchen: Yeah... and right now theres some fat guy over there staring at us.

Donnie: My parents didn't get me what I wanted for Christmas.
Therapist: What did you want?
Donnie: Hungry Hungry Hippos.
Therapist: And how did you feel, beging denied these hungry, hungry hippos?
Donnie: Regret.

[Donnie is under hypnosis by the therapist]
Therapist: What else makes you feel regret Donnie?
Donnie: [Smiles] That I did it again...

Donnie: I don't think about fxcking my family... thats gross.
[Unbuttons his pants and tries to put his hand inside but the therapist stops him.]

Donnie: [Taking a cigarette] What will happen if you tell mom about this?
Sam: You'll put Ariel in the garbage disposal.
Donnie: Goddamn right I will!

Gretchen: Hey. Whats going on?
David: Horrible accident. My neighbour... got killed.
Gretchen: What happened?
David: Got smooshed by a jet engine.
Gretchen: What was his name?
David: Donnie. Donnie Darko.
Gretchen: Hmm.
David: I feel bad for his family.
Gretchen: Yeah.
David: Did you know him?
Gretchen: No.

[Seth is holding a knofe to Donnies throat as a car approaches along the road.]
Seth: Did you call the fxcking cops?
Donnie: Deus ex machina...
Seth: What??
Donnie: Our saviour.

Donnie: [Reading a poem in class.] A storm is coming, Frank says. A storm that will swallow the children. And I will deliver them from the kingdom of pain. I will deliver the children back to their doorsteps. And send the monsters back to the underground. I'll send them back to a place where no one else can see them. Except for me. Because I am Donnie Darko.